At AnswersNow, we often share this metaphor: “You have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can put on someone else’s.” In other words, if you don’t take care of yourself and your needs, you won’t have the ability to care for someone else’s.

It’s a lovely ideal, but any parent, especially a parent of a child with special needs, knows that it can be hard to carve out time for self-care. The demands of managing therapies, advocating for resources, and supporting your child's development often take priority over parents’ personal well-being. But taking care of yourself is not optional. Self-care is essential for maintaining the resilience and energy needed to support your child effectively. As perhaps a first step in prioritizing self-care and “putting on your own oxygen mask before you put on someone else’s,” please continue reading for some strategies for parents to incorporate self-care into their daily lives.

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Give Yourself Permission to Care for Yourself

The introduction above might serve as an important reminder of the importance of self-care as well as approval - at least from us at AnswersNow - to take care of yourself. But it’s important for you to acknowledge that need and give yourself permission to prioritize self-care. If that’s a struggle for you, read on for ways you might address it.

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Don’t Let “Perfect” Be the Enemy of “Good”

This adage rings true as much for self-care as it does for business and is a common theme throughout the rest of this list. When prioritizing yourself, don’t expect perfection or set lofty, hard-to-achieve goals. Take pride in putting just a moment of time or an ounce of energy toward your own self-care. Failing to meet high expectations can take a hit on morale and stop a positive trend in its tracks. As you think about how to incorporate the rest of these items into your life, think about how you can do so reliably, with minimal effort and a high likelihood of positive results. And - either alone or with loved ones - celebrate the little wins (and know that we’re celebrating along with you).

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Establish a Support System

One of the most effective ways to change our behavior is to change our environment to support that behavior change. Building a strong support network can provide emotional relief and practical help (e.g., respite care) that allow us to prioritize self-care. That doesn’t mean we need to uproot ourselves to be surrounded by different people (although that can sometimes be needed, and we support that too). We can work with the family and friends who are already around us to support our self-care efforts. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help or just a listening ear. Take advantage of other resources - online communities, parent support groups, therapists, local organizations - who can support your self-care efforts and offer valuable advice, encouragement, and a safe place for judgement-free sharing.

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Prioritize Your Health

When life gets busy or stressful, sleep, exercise, healthy nourishment, and hygiene can take a backseat. Caring for your physical wellbeing is a crucial aspect of self-care. You don’t need to train for an marathon or take on an intensive paleo diet to support your self-care needs. Keep it simple, short, and easy. Getting outside for a short walk once or twice a day has enormous physical and mental health benefits. You don’t even need to set aside that time to focus solely on walking. Take a meeting on the phone and walk while you talk. Consider walking to an errand instead of driving. Healthy eating also doesn’t need to be perfect. Buy a few healthy food options for snacks or meals that will make you feel good. To make cooking healthier meals easier, consider meal prepping healthy foods that you can put together in different ways throughout the week or ordering from a meal kit delivery service (e.g., EveryPlate, BlueApron, HelloFresh).

Schedule Breaks 

Taking breaks is necessary to recharge. Even a short break can reduce stress. Breaks look different for different people. And it’s important to use that time to engage in activities that really help you feel better or less stressed, not just scrolling through social media or doomscrolling the news. Read a book. Practice mindfulness. Pot a plant. Crochet a hat. Spend that time engaging in an activity that you know helps you feel less stressed. And remember that giving yourself permission to step away does not mean neglecting your child—it means ensuring you can be your best self for them.

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Maintain Social Connections

Parenting a child with special needs can feel isolating. Maintaining friendships and engaging in social activities, even in small ways, can provide emotional nourishment. If scheduling regular meetups is out of reach, schedule a phone conversation, coffee date, or virtual hangout. Those little social interactions can provide much needed connection that has little to do with juggling parenting responsibilities.

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Seek Professional Support When Needed‍

Therapists, counselors, and parent support groups specialize in providing tools to manage these challenges effectively. Parent training programs and workshops can also offer guidance on navigating your child's needs while maintaining balance in your life. If feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, or depression persist, seeking professional help is a proactive step toward well-being. Your mental and emotional health matter, too!

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Embrace Self-Compassion

Parenting a child with special needs is a journey filled with successes and setbacks. Acknowledge your efforts and practice self-kindness. Perfection is not the goal. Even making a small effort is enough and should be celebrated.

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Seek Affordable Options, If Needed

In addition to time constraints being a major barrier to following these tips, financial constraints can also be a barrier. However, following these tips doesn’t need to be expensive. There are affordable or free ways to carry out each of these tips. If you need help accessing affordable mental health care, for example, talk with your doctor, your insurance company, or a local parent advocacy group for lower cost options that may be available to you.

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By prioritizing self-care, parents can improve their well-being, strengthen their resilience, and ultimately provide better support for their children. Taking care of yourself is not selfish—it is necessary for the long-term health of both you and your family.